The structure that works
The connector sends the first email. Their name on the From line is the credibility signal. Your name on the From line is just another cold inbox arrival.
The flow:
Step 1. You pre-draft a forwardable email and send it to the connector.
Step 2. The connector copies the forwardable email, addresses it to the target, adds a one-line personal note at the top ('Sarah — meet [you]'), and hits send.
Step 3. Target replies to the connector's thread. Now you, the target, and the connector are all on the same email.
Step 4. Connector loops out with a one-liner — 'I'll let you two take it from here' — and you continue one-on-one with the target.
What not to do
Sending the first email yourself with the connector CC'd is the most common mistake. From the target's perspective, this looks like a cold email with a name-drop. The credibility doesn't transfer because the connector didn't actually vouch — they just got copied.
Another common mistake: the connector forwards the email but adds significant context or commentary. This dilutes the ask and adds friction. The connector's job is to forward, not to re-pitch. The pitch is already in the email you wrote.
What about double opt-in?
Some connectors prefer double opt-in: they email the target first asking 'are you open to an intro from [requester]?' and only forward once the target says yes. This is more polite and produces fewer wasted forwards, but adds a step. Use double opt-in when the target is highly senior (C-level) and the connector wants to protect their relationship. Skip it when the target is at VP level or below and the warm path is strong.
Common follow-ups
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